The Perks of being Mediocre
I lead a life of utter mediocrity. So it probably wouldn't be in your best interest if I tell you that: a.) My name's Carmel, b.) I really SUCK at things which pertains to numbers paired with letters, c.) I have an extreme, irrational fear of MASCOTS, and d.) I'm perpetually married to a guy who lives in my future.
... and the only cure to my unreasonable insecurities is his SUGAR-COATED WORDS.
- Last night while watching VS 2011...
- Me: *looking like a perverted hobo* Damn! Why don't I look like Miranda Kerr so I could marry someone like Orlando Bloom??!! (O____O)
- Him: Oh, but I know someone who's a hundred times hotter and prettier than her.
- Me: Who??!! I must kill her!
- Him: Funny. How can you kill yourself? (-_______-)
- Me: Wait... What?! :DDDDDDD
- See his tricks?! Well here's a more recent one. This happened just a while ago.
- Me: *swoons over a picture of Jennifer Garner* She's so pretty. She's the prettiest Jennifer to ever walk the face of the earth.
- Him: *dubious* Oh? And what do you call Jennifer Lopez then? She's the hottest AND prettiest Jennifer to ever walk the face of this universe.
- Me: WHAT?! Are you kidding me?! You clearly have a poor taste in women.
- Him: HA! Of course not! I saw a stolen picture of you and I said, "F*ck! I've never seen someone more beautiful."
- xoxoxoxoxoxoxo
